5 Minute Magic Green Sauce

Might take a bit more than five minutes, but it does seem magic. It's a sandwich spread, it's a dip, it's a sauce; can go equally well with naan or tortillas. I eyeball the shit out of this recipe - got more parsley than cilantro? That's fine. Lemons instead of limes? NBD. I would include the jalapeño even if you are spice averse; it adds a green/vegetal quality without a lot of heat. The recipe says any nut is fine. This is false. I've tried this with other nuts and pistachios just elevate the hell out of it, not sure why but they are a must-have if you want this to be truly magic.